"Joined by Grace: A Catholic Prayer Book for Engaged and Newly Married Couples" by John and Teri Bosio. Ave Maria Press (Notre Dame, Indiana, 2017). 136 pp., $9.95.
"Forever: A Catholic Devotional for Your Marriage" by Jackie Francois Angel and Bobby Angel. Pauline Books and Media (Boston, 2017). 163 pp., $15.95.
"Prayers for Catholic Couples: With Reflections from Pope Francis' 'The Joy of Love,'" compiled and edited by Susan Heuver. Word Among Us Press (Frederick, Maryland, 2017). 167 pp., $11.95.
Whether they know it or not, married couples today need lots of prayer to live their vocation well. They always have, but perhaps today they may need it more than ever. Three recently published books approach this need in rather different ways.
Of the three, the most like a traditional Catholic prayer book is "Joined by Grace," in which John and Teri Bosio have compiled a great many traditional Catholic prayers, from prayers from the Mass to litanies to praying with some of the saints to other devotions, such as the rosary and the stations of the cross, each with a brief explanation.
For couples already connected well to a parish and mainly comfortable with formal prayers, this may be quite helpful; however, it's unfortunate that these prayers and devotions aren't linked more specifically with the joys and challenges that marriage presents.
The second book, "Forever" by Jackie Francois Angel and Bobby Angel, is designed as a four-week exploration of the theology of the body from St. John Paul II, a theology that some couples have found more helpful than others. It tends to be rather didactic and not as devotional as a prayer book often would be, perhaps suitable for a couple to read aloud to one another daily, but what the Angels have done here requires a considerable time commitment on the part of a couple.
Last, but not least, is "Prayers for Catholic Couples," which includes brief excerpts from Pope Francis' 2016 apostolic exhortation "The Joy of Love" ("Amoris Laetitia"). Susan Heuver has done a fine service for couples in making insights from this compassionate document easily available to couples for their reflection.
In his introduction to his pastoral letter, Pope Francis explained, "It is my hope that, in reading this text, all will feel called to love and cherish family life, for 'families are not a problem; they are first and foremost an opportunity.'" That tone indeed comes through in this little book.
Pope Francis talks about the lack of perfection in families: "No family drops down from heaven perfectly formed; families need constantly to grow and mature in their ability to love."
He observes about marital fidelity that "just as a good wine begins to breathe with time, so too the daily experience of fidelity gives married life richness and 'body.' Fidelity has to do with patience and expectation. Its joys and sacrifices bear fruit as the years go by and the couple rejoices to see their children's children. The love present from the beginning becomes more conscious, settled and mature as the couple discovers each other anew day after day, year after year."
He even discusses parenting: "It is also essential to help children and adolescents to realize that misbehavior has consequences. They need to be encouraged to put themselves in other people's shoes and to acknowledge the hurt they have caused. ... It is important to train children firmly to ask forgiveness and to repair the harm done to others."
After each brief excerpt from "The Joy of Love" Heuver includes a reflection question or two and a short prayer for the couple to share. These offer an opportunity for a couple to reflect on their lives on the run, which is often the only opportunity they may have.
All three of these books of prayers could be helpful for couples trying to live a faith-filled, sacramental marriage in a world that seems to value change and superficiality instead.
— Kathleen Finley, Catholic News Service. Finley is the author of several books on practical spirituality, including "Prayers for the Newly Married" and "The Liturgy of Motherhood: Moments of Grace," and previously taught in the religious studies department at Gonzaga University.
ASHEVILLE — It can be hard for Catholic singles to meet people who share their values.
To help overcome this challenge, St. Lawrence Basilica parishioner Elizabeth Harris created Asheville Christian Quick Connect events in hopes of helping others make connections with those of a similar faith background. Quick Connect is a speed-dating style event for Christian singles aged 25-45 looking to meet that potential special someone.
The second event, held at Habitat Brewing Co. Nov. 18, was an intimate group of seven participants. Last year, the event drew eight.
Harris said she hopes she can attract more people to these events and host them twice a year – in the spring and fall.
“I think it’s a really good start,” Harris said. “Even with the small group, I feel it’s quality over quantity. Those who participated seemed to get a lot out of it.”
Jake Flannick, 31, and a St. Lawrence Basilica parishioner, says he thought it was worthwhile to attend.
“I felt like I met people, even the men, that I’d like to have a friendship with,” he said. “I was happy I went.”
Elizabeth Spika, 28, agrees.
“The event was a lot of fun, very welcoming to all who walked in, a very nice way to spend a Saturday,” she said.
“The real reason I attended was to make friends. I’ve been in Asheville for four months, and I’ve never had anyone to really hang out with. Now, I have two girl friends and a guy friend.”
Spika said she’s between parish homes, attending St. Eugene Church as well as St. Lawrence Basilica with a guy she met through the event.
“I feel I would definitely do it again, even just to make more friends,” Spika said.
To kick off the Nov. 18 Quick Connect, married couples spoke about their relationships. Afterwards, participants divided into pairs and were given about 10 minutes to talk with each other. Harris provided a list of suggested questions – more “intentional” than basic get-to-know-you questions – such as “what does your prayer life look like?” and “how do you envision balancing marriage and having a family?”
At the end of the event, participants had the opportunity to exchange contact information. Then they enjoyed more social time to grab a bite and a drink and continue to mingle, Harris said.
Although it is open to any Christians, all but one participant at the November Quick Connect was Catholic.
“I reached out to many Christian denominations in surrounding areas,” Harris said. “I’ve made it an ecumenical event, as Asheville has a small Christian base in our age range.”
Harris brought the idea to host these events to Asheville after attending a Catholic speed dating event in Philadelphia during Pope Francis’ U.S. visit.
“I’m single, and I’ve felt like it’s difficult to meet faithful singles looking for marriage,” Harris said. “I like the philosophy of dating for marriage, not to just fill a void or whatever.”
The event encourages friendship, and many successful marriages start with friendship, she said.
Flannick said he was a little apprehensive to attend his first speed dating event.
“Among people in our age group here, it seems like there are few people who are religious,” Flannick said. “It’s hard to meet someone of the same faith.”
Married couples speak to participants of Asheville Christian Quick Connect at Habitat Brewing Co. Nov. 18.( Photos provided by Elizabeth Harris) While the sense of “intentionality” of speed dating made Flannick a bit uncomfortable, he said that focus also made it easier to talk with others who share his values.
The majority of the fee to participate in the Quick Connect event is donated to charity, Harris notes. This year, $80 was given to Clean Clothes for Dignity. Last year’s event raised money for Homeward Bound.
“As Christians we’re called to give back and be charitable,” Harris said. “I like to raise awareness for different non-profits as well.”
To learn more about future Asheville Christian Quick Connect events, contact avlquickconnect@gmail.
— Kimberly Bender , online reporter