CHARLOTTE — Derek and Meghan Peloquin have God and Campus Ministry to thank for their relationship. The couple wed April 16 at St. Thomas Aquinas Church after meeting at a "Give Your Heart Away" college service weekend sponsored by the Diocese of Charlotte's Campus Ministry program.
Derek, 27, and Meghan, 23, were both participants in Campus Ministry at their respective colleges, UNC-Charlotte and Wingate University, when they met more than five years ago. Both are also cradle Catholics originally from upstate New York. Derek came to Charlotte seeking a doctoral degree after finishing his undergraduate degrees from the State University of New York at Buffalo. Meghan relocated to the Charlotte area with her family when she was a child. She earned a Bachelor of Science degree in psychology from UNC-Charlotte in 2014.
"Immediately upon getting to UNC-Charlotte, I got involved with Campus Ministry, especially since a former campus minister of mine knew Sister Eileen Spanier, who was taking over at Charlotte," Derek recalls.
"I gave myself the time to go on the retreats that were offered throughout the school year. For the spring retreat ("Give Your Heart Away"), our group was forewarned that another student from our area was going to be the only student representing her university, so we were asked to be welcoming to her. Well, my welcome to this student, Meghan, apparently went far enough that we kept in touch throughout the rest of the semester and summer, and became very good friends with her transferring to Charlotte for the fall semester!"
Meghan, then a sophomore at Wingate University, was working on developing the Catholic Campus Ministry program there at the time she and Derek met.
"When I attended the retreat, I met Derek and began to develop a friendship with him as he offered me support in the campus ministry program at Wingate, through some personal hardships and in my decision to transfer to UNCC," she explains.
The couple were friends for seven months before they started dating.
"I initiated a conversation with Derek about moving our relationship past friendship when he 'friend zoned' me at the beginning of my junior year," Meghan remembers. "After taking some time to discern things, it was through Adoration at the Eucharistic Congress where he came to realize that there was something more than friendship there."
They dated for the next three years, and Derek proposed in April of last year.
Both admit their Catholic faith has been an integral part of their lives together.
"From the beginning of even our friendship, our faith was at the absolute center of our relationship," Meghan explains. "Our relationship consisted of prayer, attending Mass together, participating in Campus Ministry and taking advantages of opportunities to deepen our faith together."
Shortly after they began dating, she says, it was clear they both felt a deep call to share their lives together and encourage each other in their goal of reaching heaven.
"Through discernment, the bigger question was more of when God's timing for us would be to start our lives together, as both of us were finishing up school," she says.
"Our Catholic faith gives us so much to share with each other and options to fall back on when things have gotten tough, and this has undoubtedly been able to keep us tied together where otherwise we might not have bothered to put forth the effort," Derek adds.
Besides receiving the sacraments and worshiping together, they have made it a habit to pray together over the years.
"Within in the first year of our relationship, we began praying together every night whether it be a rosary, Chaplet of Divine Mercy or novena prayer. A little over a year and a half ago, we joined the Angelic Warfare Confraternity and have obtained daily prayer routines together through that," Meghan says.
This past fall they also consecrated themselves to Mary together.
"My personal favorite devotion of ours is our own litany of saints. Over time Derek and I have come across saints other than our own patron saints, St. Teresa of Avila (mine) and St. Joan of Arc (Derek's) who we have developed a connection to. As we have learned more about them together, we have added them each night to our nightly prayers seeking their intercessions," Meghan says.
They also recognize the important role Campus Ministry has played in their lives.
"Campus Ministry has played such a pivotal role in our relationship. For one, we initially connected to each other because of a Catholic Campus Ministry retreat. From the start of my career at UNCC my junior year of college, we served on the leadership team together. So much of our time spent together has been within the Campus Ministry program, where we have learned how to pray as individuals and together we have learned how to be disciple of Christ once again – not as just individuals, but as a team."
Campus Ministry has been a safe haven where they have been able to hold fast to their beliefs despite the challenges of living in today's world.
"Since then, it gave an opportunity for us to learn and discuss our faith, both personally and interpersonally, and helped to show us the couple that we wanted to be," Derek says.
Sister Eileen Spanier, of the Grey Nuns of the Sacred Heart, is thrilled the Peloquins are now wed after seeing them throughout their years in Campus Ministry.
"It has been my good fortune to watch this relationship blossom and grow during these past few years. What wonderful role models and inspiration they have been to their peers and for anyone that has the good fortune to know them," she says.
Without actually preaching with words, their actions have spoken volumes, she notes. "They are serious about their faith and look for opportunities to grow and learn. In an age where inappropriate physical intimacy seems to be the norm on most college campuses, Meghan and Derek have demonstrated to their peers the importance and the blessing of living chastely. They took the time to grow their relationship with God and one another. Their foundation is strong and they make a good team! I am so proud of them."
The newlyweds have some advice for other young Catholic couples in the dating and discernment process.
"Whether or not you are single, I believe it is so important to be comfortable in who you are and in your Catholic faith before entering a serious relationship. I understand at times it feels scary to be single but you are not alone, you are God's. Our Divine Creator has a master plan for you that will be revealed to you in His time. Just trust and pray," Meghan encourages.
"For those in a relationship and discerning marriage, I would say: pray! Without God at the center of your relationship, you will have an emptiness that you cannot fulfill in each other. Despite earthly temptations and criticism from peers who do not understand your Catholic faith, cling to it. It is completely worth it, seek support in each other, in prayer, through your young adult programs or Campus Ministry program."
Derek echoes Meghan's outlook, saying, "My best advice to anyone, and especially to those seeking to begin dating or moving things to different steps of the relationship, is to always keep God as the focal point of the relationship. He is the One that gives purpose to our being and supplies answers where none seem present, and He provides for those who honor Him."
The Peloquins hope that by keeping God at the center of their marriage, they will trust in Him and follow His will.
"Ultimately, I feel that our hope for our lives together is to be beacons of Christ's light, as individuals and as a couple, by leading others to Christ. We hope to do so through offering our marriage to God and trusting in His will, no matter where life takes us," Meghan says.
Derek remembers the advice of one of their pre-Cana directors at St. Thomas Aquinas Church, where they prepared for the sacrament of matrimony: "Father Deacon Matthew Hanes (told us) to remember the words of St. Padre Pio: 'Pray, hope, and don't worry.' In the midst of all the busyness of the world, and especially in preparing for marriage and life beyond that, this has been very helpful, and my hope is that we are able to always cling to this and to God no matter what happens to us."
Sister Eileen says she would love to see the Peloquins settle in Charlotte after Derek graduates next month with a doctorate in nanoscale science.
"Derek has been my 'right hand man' and I affectionately call Meghan my 'brain.' I must admit that I will hate to see them leave the area and I am (not so secretly) storming heaven for a job that will keep them in Charlotte. But I know that God has great plans for them, and I am sure that wherever He leads them they will bring His Spirit and Truth!"
— SueAnn Howell, Senior reporter
CHARLOTTE — "There was a deep, dark hole in my heart."
St. Joan of Arc parishioner Shelley Glanton, a registered nurse, talks openly about her journey through grief that began after procuring her second abortion. Glanton now works as a volunteer to bring the light of mercy into the lives of women suffering the unique loss of abortion.
During this Jubilee Year of Mercy in the Church, Pope Francis has placed special emphasis on extending mercy to those who desire forgiveness and healing after an abortion. Diocese of Charlotte leaders want to emphasize the resources they have available for women – and men – who seek healing after an abortion.
In the Diocese of Charlotte, caring, trained professionals are available to support individuals in need of post-abortion healing. Priests offer reconciliation, prayer, support, guidance and referrals. Deacons and other professionals offer counseling, spiritual direction and support groups at the parish level. Catholic Charities Diocese of Charlotte also offers professional counseling throughout the diocese, including the Project Rachel Ministry with its Rachel's Vineyard healing retreats.
Rachel's Vineyard is an international non-profit ministry of Priests for Life that organizes more than 1,000 retreats in 48 states and 57 countries around the world each year.
The Diocese of Charlotte offers Rachel's Vineyard healing retreats at least twice a year in different areas of the diocese. Upcoming retreats are planned for June and September in the Asheville area.
People from all areas, including neighboring dioceses, are welcome to attend. The retreats are primarily attended by mothers, but fathers, friends and other family members are also welcome.
"These retreats offer a beautiful, spiritual opportunity to learn more about the healing love and forgiveness Our Lord has to offer, and the sacrament of reconciliation is available for those who would like to receive it," said Jennifer Ganser, the diocese's Respect Life program director.
"The connections and support that retreatants receive from and share with one another are amazing and incredibly healing. Although we use a Catholic model of these retreats (with Mass and the sacrament of reconciliation), individuals of all faiths are welcome," Ganser said.
Glanton and other trained volunteers – many of whom have also experienced the pain of abortion – help retreatants through the three-day program.
"I went to my personal retreat 12 years ago now," Glanton said. "I came back and began working with a friend, and working with St. Barnabas Church (in Arden) started the Rachel's Vineyard retreats here in the diocese."
It can be incredibly difficult for a woman who has had an abortion to even talk about it, much less pick up the phone to register for a retreat, Glanton said. "Even getting them there (to the retreat) is hard. One woman asked me if we were going to be mean to her on the retreat. I said, 'No, we're not going to be mean to you. It's the mercy of God.'"
Often, retreat-goers must work through years of silence, denial and deep-seated grief. Through group discussions, prayer, counseling and the sacraments, they have the opportunity to begin to heal. Retreatants are also provided with tools and resources to continue their healing journey after they return home.
"We get to see miracles happen on the weekends – truly we do," Glanton said.
Father Dean Cesa, pastor of St. Joan of Arc Church in Candler, is one of the priests who has assisted on the retreat weekends.
"Those who have had an abortion or assist in one carry a lot of guilt with them – guilt that haunts them even for decades," he explains. "They feel rejected by the Church and feel that what they have done can never be forgiven. They separate themselves from the Church.
"These retreats provide an environment that is loving and non-judgmental so that they can experience wholeness and healing. I participate in this by hearing their confessions and celebrating Mass, welcoming them back to communion. My faith is built up as I see them unburden themselves of guilt. I never get tired of seeing them relax and smile as they receive God's forgiveness."
Glanton wants women and men who have participated in an abortion to know that help is available, and that healing is possible.
"This is the Year of Mercy, and this is the mercy of God. Sin is sin, and sin can be forgiven," she said.
She also knows that God has called her to help others on their own healing journeys.
"I would never talk about my abortion before. I'm not proud of what I did, but God has put it in my heart to help other people now."
Glanton encourages anyone who has procured an abortion to take a leap of faith: "Give it a chance. Come and see what God can do... After Rachel's Vineyard I have a scar, but it's not a big, dark hole anymore. That's the difference. You will always remember. You will never forget. You will have a chance to honor your child."
— SueAnn Howell, senior reporter
Upcoming retreats
Asheville area
(sponsored by the Diocese of Charlotte)
June 24-26 and Sept. 16-18
Contact: Jennifer Ganser (336-209-2161, This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.) or Shelley Glanton (828-230-4940, This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.)
Durham area
(Sponsored by the Diocese of Raleigh, not a Rachel's Vineyard retreat)
April 29-May 1
Contact: Mary Beth Phillips (919-719-8267, This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.) or 919-852- 1021, This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
More resources
At www.hopeafterabortion.com: Learn more about the Project Rachel Ministry
At www.rachelsvineyard.com or toll-free 877-HOPE-4-ME (877-467-3463): Get more information about Rachel's Vineyard retreats