‘United in hope’
HUNTERSVILLE — A cross made of softly flickering white candles glowed in front of the altar at St. Mark Church Saturday morning during a special Mass offered for families who have suffered the loss of a child because of miscarriage or stillbirth.
The Mass of Consolation, a first for the Diocese of Charlotte, offered people an opportunity to find solace in prayer and fellowship. The event was co-sponsored by the Respect Life Ministry at St. Mark and the diocese’s Office of Family Life.
Deacon Thomas Martin and his wife Heather Martin, who have experienced the loss of three babies to miscarriage, were the main organizers of the event. The Martins said the Mass gave parents and families an important chance to publicly acknowledge grief and losses that not too long ago were not often mentioned outside the circle of family.
“I want people to know that it is OK to grieve because you have lost a child you loved, it is OK and a good thing to name these children, and it is OK to talk about it openly and with others,” Deacon Martin said.
The bilingual Mass was celebrated by Father Chinonso Nnebe-Agumadu, who gave his homily in both English and Spanish.
“I want to entrust all of you to the mantle of the Blessed Mother because she brings consolation to the afflicted and she experienced sorrow during her life,” he said. “We approach today clinging to the hope and mercy of God for the salvation of the children who have died. Turn to the Lord always through the tribulation of loss.”
Parents and family members wrote their babies’ names in a book of remembrance, and were able to select one of the candles from those in front of the altar to take home.
Jerry Massimino, 82, a parishioner at St. Mark, attended the Mass to honor the memory of an older sibling he never knew. He recalled how as a boy growing up in the Bay Ridge section of Brooklyn, N.Y., his mother told him that she had gone through a miscarriage before he was born.
“I’ve always thought about what my mother experienced and had wished that I had a big sister in my life,” Massimino said. “I don’t know if the baby my mother lost was a girl, but all my life I had wanted a sister. This Mass helped me tremendously because it was a way to honor both my mother and the baby she lost.”
He was especially moved that the Mass included a rendition of “Ave Maria” because that was his mother’s favorite hymn.
Roxanna Homic, also a member of St. Mark Parish, attended with her husband and daughter and said she was moved by the beauty of the Mass and the chance to mourn with others.
“This helped me because it is good to know we are not alone in our situation,” Homic said. “I gained consolation in knowing we’re united with so many others who have gone through this. We are united in hope that our babies are in heaven.”
The Martins said there are plans to make the Mass of Consolation an annual event.
“This Mass is an important chance for people to share their grief and begin healing, and it lets people who have experienced miscarriage know they’re not alone,” Heather Martin said.
— Christina Lee Knauss. Photos by Amy Burger
