So many people find this time of year quite difficult. The days are short and cold, and the nights seem endless. The anxieties of this world become louder in our ears, and the glare of social media is blinding.
Sleep can be a difficult friend to find at these times. She may come for a while but always seems to leave at 3 a.m. Why 3 a.m.? I don’t know. But I think she is reminding me to speak to Our Lord, who had a difficult 3 o’clock hour as well.
Lying awake in the inky pitch of night can feel lonely and disconcerting, but then I ponder the words of Gerard Manly Hopkins as he considered the “luminous darkness.” What is the loving presence that surrounds me? The love of the Father who never leaves my side. The love that even consoled the fevered mind of an artist like Vincent Van Gogh, who could see in the luminous darkness a beautiful starry night.
St. Paul shares a secret of enduing the darkness of this season with the Philippians. He tells them, “Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your request known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil 4:6-7).
The peace of God in our hearts and minds – isn’t that what we long for when we are in the darkness? St. Paul continues, “…whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about those things” (Phil 4:8). The secret is to reject the fears exaggerated in our 3 a.m. minds and look up to the skies to see the brilliance of our Creator’s work, of the luminous darkness, of stars and planets, of the moon and perhaps even fog or rain, and all created by the loving hand of God our Father.
As we surrender ourselves, our fears and anxiety, our sadness and needs to His Divine Will, we will begin to see the truth of Zachariah’s canticle. “In the tender compassion of our God, the dawn from on high shall break upon us, to shine on those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of death, and to guide our feet into the way of peace.”
Deacon Carl F. Brown serves at St. Leo the Great Parish in Winston-Salem.