Parents are often menders. We mend broken toys, nearly ruined dinners, scuffed knees and stuck zippers. The more dexterous of us may mend clothing and jewelry. Meanwhile, handy or ambitious parents will tackle a broken vacuum or a clogged toilet armed with video tutorials, rudimentary tools and a strong belief in the power of thrift. As we celebrate Mother’s Day, I’m reminded of the many mothers I know with a special gift to mend broken relationships and quell sibling fights with a blend of subtlety, compassion and creativity that seems almost magical.
I was never asked in marriage preparation meetings about my attitude or ability when it came to mending things. Perhaps it’s one of those skills best learned on the job. But I certainly spend a large portion of my day in fix-it mode now.
As parents, we want to be able to mend things. This is the reason so many parents become rapidly disenchanted with cheap plastic toys and fragile electronics for kids. We know this isn’t a world of permanence, but we want it to be a mendable world. I think this desire goes beyond a wish to save money and conserve our planet’s resources, though those are also good things. Mending is an act of patient love, and we want to love our children.
Our world desires a mending. Every political party promises that they know the path to a mended future. And even textile designs have a recent fascination with sashiko – a Japanese technique that visibly mends torn cloth so it becomes storied and stronger than before it was rent.
At the same time, we know not every toy and problem is meant to be mended. Some are unnecessary for our lives and can be let go. Keeping a trained eye on our priorities helps us to know what to spend time mending and what to purge from our lives. With extra time at home, my attention is drawn to the many things that need fixing here at home. They cannot be ignored through our normal hustle of activities. The less tangible these things are (running the gamut from torn jeans to a household budget to health concerns and spiritual obstacles) the more I need God’s help to address them.
God too, as our Heavenly Father, is a mender. Time and time again in the Old Testament, He renewed His covenant with the Israelite people. From the first moment that Adam and Eve fell, God promised a mending, and He fulfilled that promise in Christ. Even now, He continues to reach across the divides we create to mend souls through the sacrament of confession.
This month, we have an opportunity to observe two important memorials in the Church that can lead to our mending.
The first was the annual celebration of St. Joseph the Worker on May 1. St. Joseph, whom we have taken as our special patron in our diocese this year, served as a tekton.Though we often translate this as “carpenter,” a more accurate translation in the 1st century would have been “builder.” If your roof fell in, you would call Joseph; he was a mender. Now, as a powerful advocate on our behalf in heaven, St. Joseph can help us as we seek to keep a roof over our own families and maintain peace in the home during difficult economic times.
May is the month dedicated to Our Lady. To begin this celebration, our bishops united on May 1 to rededicate the United States under the protection of Mary, Mother of the Church. Over the past 2,000 years, Mary has proven time and again that her primary work is to join her Son in mending and healing our broken world. She knows how to bring peace during a time of upheaval and solace to those who are alone, afraid or overwrought. Wasn’t it Mary who was given at the cross to John as his mother, who was with the Apostles in the upper room at Pentecost, and who counseled the apostles as they began their work after the Ascension? She can accompany us in our mission and heal us in our distress.
I have heard from many people that in the midst of an epidemic, it can be difficult to remember we are in the midst of celebrating Easter. It is a challenge to see a world broken by disease, political bickering and ever-fluctuating social norms and to trust in the mending God is doing at this time. We know the liturgical year proclaims that He has defeated death, and yet people still suffer and die.
Gardeners revel in the life-giving pulse of warm and wet days, softening soil, and sprouts of green when others see the desolate gray of late winter. Catholics too see differently. Christians perceive hope, freedom and opportunities to love when others see only sorrow, restrictions and isolation.
Julian of Norwich, an anchoress who lived in isolation near a church, received mystical visions of the suffering Christ in May of 1373. Even though England was reeling from the Black Death, social upheaval, vast economic changes and extended war abroad, her divine messages are full of hope. Christ promised His suffering people then and now:
“I am able to make everything well, and I know how to make everything well, and I wish to make everything well, and I shall make everything well; and thou shalt see for thyself that all manner of things shall be well.”
God is always at work mending our world, even when we struggle to see with the eyes of hope. He lives an eternal Easter, even when we feel stuck in a perpetual Holy Saturday. Mary and Joseph learned to live with the eyes of faith. They participated deeply in God’s healing work. If we ask, I believe God will help us see how He is trying to mend our church communities, our families and ourselves during this Easter season. Look for the mending you may not feel. It is Easter, and God is victorious.
Kelly Henson is a Catholic writer and speaker who explores the art of integrating faith into daily life. She and her family are parishioners of Our Lady of Grace Parish in Greensboro. She blogs at www.kellyjhenson.com.